by Travis Hardin
THURSDAY'S SOUTH MOUNTAIN MENSA brought in another bumper crop. Art Gannett, who was at the first gathering more than two years ago, made his second foray from Westminster, his familial responsibilities having lightened. Fred and Inge Davis sailed in with the Puzzle Puzzle (Margaret Eggers' attempt to win a $1000 prize for Maryland Mensa by listing all the 300-plus proverbs and idioms pictured). It being Valentine's Day, Bill Todd pulled up his pants leg and demonstrated his musical sock performing "Let me Call You Sweetheart." Jan Todd and Incredible Baby Rachel were among the reluctant audience, which also included Carol Baldwin, Greg Pacek, Travis Hardin, Rosemary McDermott, Marshall and Karen Hamilton, Ruthanne Evans, and new member (YA-A-A-A!) Jan Carey.
The Puzzle was intriguing, and those who weren't crowded around it were mixing and chatting when our waitress came around and found she had to follow people and catch them to take their orders. Against all predictions, the waitress knifed no one.
Fred and Inge hinted at some exotic sexual practice involving a string around the big toe. Elaboration was sketchy, so consult them personally if--and I can't imagine why--you must know more.
On a recent Saturday I played God-for-a-day with Marsha Cope and friends when I was invited to help judge a large stack of Maryland Mensa scholarship essays. The job was both weighty and funny, and Marsha served superb home-made pizza and enough snacks to fuel a herd of marathon runners.
Your Reporter has noticed over the last few months an excessive proliferation of ribbons on cars. There's red for those who are MADD, yellow for those who sympathize with the troops away from home, and non-standard combinations of red, white, and blue stars and stripes for those who would like to get into the flag with George Bush. There are thousands of other causes, but only a limited number of ribbon colors. A conundrum! The solution Your Reporter proposes is simply that all requests nationwide to match causes to ribbon colors be coordinated through the SMM staff. You will be contacted with your assignment. Thank you for your cooperation.
To Charlotte Hardy, the wife of our ex-playboy LocSec, I leave for your contemplation the famous Maryland motto, "A TROOPER IS YOUR BEST PROTECTION." So wear a trooper if you want to be safe.